Setting Outrageous Goals and Seeing a Dream Come True
My lifelong friend, fraternity brother and fellow college instructor, Jeff Werderman alerted me to a young woman from one of his classes at Cal State Fullerton. “You have to hear her story,” he said. “She is one of the humblest and highly motivated students I have ever taught.”
After hearing some of her story from Jeff I knew I needed learn even more.
The Setting: Farmlands Near Hanoi
Vui (pronounced ‘Voo E’ – like Louie) was born into a farming family in rural Vietnam in Thai Binh city, outside the greater Hanoi area. As a young girl in a patriarchal family structure, Vui saw her life trajectory unfolding along the same path that generations before her followed…work on the family farm, get married, have children and repeat.
That’s just how predictable a future it can be for a young girl from the rural town of a third world country. Many third world communities are like this. It’s a pattern that has existed for centuries. And quite often, it is the women that are pushed into this predictable path. It’s a tradition designed to keep the communities and family together.
The vocation of farming requires a consistent level of care and attention. While in high school, Vui’s job was to sell vegetables which often required her to wake up at 3 or 4 a.m. to harvest the vegetables. Then she’d rush to the local market to sell them by 6 a.m. She would then return home market to get dressed and quickly rush to school.
She repeated this same schedule nearly every day.
Breaking with Tradition to Chart a New Course
Vui wanted something different. As a strong student with an inquisitive mind, she wanted more for herself and her future. She was splitting her life between her responsibilities at the farm, and her desire for a professional degree and career.
She wanted more of the career and less of the farming responsibilities. But that dream wasn’t possible.
“After high school I was able to start university,” she explained. “But when my father passed away from cancer during my second year, we all had to pitch in even more to continue covering our farming requirements. That meant that now I would get up even earlier in the morning to complete my farm responsibilities so I could go to school afterwards. Then, when I got home, I would need to study until late.
At the age of 22, Vui finished college and began working at local bank. She continued her schooling and received her master’s degree at age 25. For a young girl from the country, she had reached an enviable level. She was on her way to success in her community. A traditional path would have her finding a mate, settling down, having children and continuing her support of her family farm.
Dreaming Big Dreams That Changed Her Life Course
For most people in her community, her position and education would signify that she “made it.” Not Vui. She wanted to grow even more. She wanted to attend graduate school in the United States and earn her MBA.
She explained, “I put this big dream out there for myself. I didn’t know how I was going to do it, but it became my sole focus. I didn’t have the money, and I couldn’t even speak English. I had to come up with a plan to meet my goal.”
Motivation is a powerful influence, even in the face of extreme goals. According to a meta-analysis conducted by Deci and Ryan (2000) they found a significant correlation between intrinsic motivation and goal attainment across various domains such as education, work, and sports. The analysis revealed that individuals who were driven by intrinsic factors, such as personal growth and enjoyment, were more likely to persist in their efforts and ultimately reach their goals.
Vui was doing it to prove to herself that she could do it.
“I needed to learn the language and I had no means to do that, so I developed a creative solution for myself,” she explained. “Every day after working at the bank, I would offer to take tourists on a free guided tour of our community. I knew that I could improve my English, and I would meet some nice people while I conducted the tours.”
Making Friends and Opening Doors
For seven years, during her employment at the bank and following her workday, Vui would give tours to English speaking tourists. Her English improved and she made many new friends from all over the world in the process. She shared her story with each of them…her journey, her dream of going to the US to study, her desire to earn her MBA.
What happened next surprised her.
“I never expected such an outpouring of support for what I was trying to do,” she explained. “I found it hard to believe that these strangers I was meeting were now in my corner and urging me on to follow my dream. They helped me believe that anything was possible. Many of them even said they would help me financially!”
Many psychologists believe that telling your goals to others can undermine your success. This activity can “trick” your mind into thinking that you have already achieved the goal. That’s understandable for some… but not for Vui. She found that now she had an entire group of cheerleaders that were behind her and willing to push her along. She couldn’t let herself or these new friends down.
MBA Studies At California State University, Fullerton
Finally, in 2023 at the age of 30, Vui was able to enter the MBA program at Cal State Fullerton. Because of her alien status, she was not able to work when she arrived, so she was in a limbo situation for nearly 3 months. Finally, she secured housing through the university and a part-time job on campus. She is now working to pay her way through school. She loves her courses and is finishing in the top percentile of her class.
“I realize that I’m still in the middle of my journey but I’m living my dream,” she explained. “If I was still in Vietnam I would be married with several kids and monitoring the farm every day. I know that I can make a larger contribution to the world by completing my education and even going beyond that. I Hope one day to be an influence on others just like me. To let them know that they can achieve their dreams.”
Vui’s strong sense of direction, combined with her steadfast focus on accomplishing her goal has allowed her to beat the enormous odds that she faced. She shows that completing a goal is as much about not quitting, as it is about accomplishment. At any point in her journey, she could have decided that it was too difficult. Others might have.
It begs the question, what dreams have you given up on? Why? Most of us play it safe with our dreams and commitments. We’re not willing to risk what we already have, to achieve something greater.
However, when you start with nothing like Vui, you have everything to gain. And that’s how true dreamcatchers are created.
Do you have a dream that you have yet to realize? What are you willing to invest to see your dream come true? What can you learn from Vui’s journey?